But why not?
by Harriet Hibiki
Summary: Lui Hibiki is sad, mute and alone. One mistake leads to another, and soon he's on death's doorstep. The last person youd think comes to help him. Strong T, self-harm, attempted suicide,. May be triggering. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
1. Chapter 1

Lui shut the door to his room quietly, bit his lip, and slid down to his knees. _Don't cry, don't, don't cry..._

He gulped in air and let out a big sob, not that it could be heard. Tears rolled down his cheeks,which he was quick to wipe away. He brought his knees up into a fetal position, rocking back and forth, screaming silently, cold tears running down his face and landing in his lap. He heard the words of the teal-haired diva echo through his head: _We may as well call him a Voyakiloid! Hear that, Haku, you have a new friend! _And shelaughed. It wasn't that he didn't like Haku and Dell, they were actually fairly nice to him, but Miku's words had hurt. Not even Ring had said anything. Not even Ring...

He sat up, wiping his face on his sleeve, and headed to his dresser. He opened up his underwear drawer and rummaged around for a second before finding the small box where he kept a few things he was too ashamed to talk about. He lifted the lid slowly, careful not to make any noise, and looked inside. It was the same as always, two small razors, a pair of scissors, a few Band-Aids, a few scattered pills, and a small stack of Kleenex. He picked up a razor gingerly, postioned it in his hands, and held his breath as he made a small cut across his left wrist.

It hurt. He made a deeper cut an inch below the first. He chewed on his lip, trying to draw blood. He made a few more. It didn't hurt. _It doesn't it hurt?_ Lui made another deep cut across the first.

_It's my time, _Lui thought. That was the only logical explanation. Maybe right here, right now, it was his time to die. The universe has decided. Lui never had believed in fate, but why should he not take advantage of this time right now? It would hurt later, wouldn't it?

Lui fished around the bottom of the box for as many pills as he could salvage. He looked at them in his hand. He gulped them back, the way a little kid would with a handful of Skittles. His insides leached. He made three more deep cuts across his wrists. He sat, waiting for life to literally drain out of him.

He started to remember some of his friends. Sister Ring, with her cotton candy blue hair, angelic voice, soft laugh. Big sister Ring.

Tianyi Luo, his best friend, who understood his pain. No other Vocaloid understood her. They played silent board games together, except for her occasional giggle.

Haku and Dell, with their strange acts of kindness. He remembered when he accidently walked face-first into Haku's exposed cleavage, causing a good amount of confusion. He giggled at the memory, and he could feel his brain very slowly shutting down.

He remembered Neru's mean jokes about Miku, which he now realized were meant to cheer him up. He remembered Rin's road-roller adventures, and Len's delicious Banana smoothies, and how hard Kaito and Gakupo laughed when Piko tripped on his USB cord, and Luka's creepy toast incident...

Lui Hibiki did not want to die. Not now. He ran as fast as he could towards the nearest bathroom, which was quiet a ways down the hall, and ran into Clara, who looked at him with concern. She said something, but he didn't understand her thick Spanish accent.

He sprinted into the bathroom, sat down in front of the toilet, and stuck his finger down his throat until he gagged. He coughed up everything he'd eaten in a week or so, and couldn't stop puking. He finally stopped, but the taste and feeling of bile in his mouth was enough to make him gag again.

His insides felt raw, numb, and empty. His head pounded. He hadn't even began to think about his cuts, which had stained his legs arms, and chest red with blood. He cried out silently, grabbing toilet paper and balling it up as fast he could. He patted himself as dry as he could, but the blood would not stop coming.

His fists banged against the walls, hot tears filled his eyes. Suddenly, the door he had forgot to lock opened. Who was it?

Lui looked up to see the tanned face of Bruno, the one and only Spanish male Vocaloid. "Lui..." He said, holding up bandages.

He sat down next to me, took one of my arms, and began to wrap it. "I'm sorry." Lui said, but no words came out. He just nodded. Then, he scooped me up, took me to my room, and set me down on my bed. He wrapped my other arm. "Thank you" he mouthed. Lui waited for him to leave. He didn't. He pulled the covers over him and sat next to him until I fell asleep. Lui remembered him saying with his thick Spanish accent: "Your life is worth living, Lui." And that was all.

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Aww, bromance. Everybody loves bromance, especially when the pairing is completely crackish. I don't really know what to do next. Should I continue? R and R.


	2. The aftermath

Hello again! Wow, a review? I actually wasn't expecting that, but thanks! I decided to keep writing because:

A) At least one person seems to enjoy it, and

B) Tumblr is down and I have nothing else to do. So, on with the show!

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When Lui woke up in the morning, he first noticed his bandages had been changed, along with his clothes. He was a little uncomfortable at first, thinking about someone taking off his clothes while he slept (Especially Bruno), but he knew it was meant to be affectionate. He went to sit up, but the sharp pain in his stomach told him otherwise. He managed to scooch himself into a half-sitting, half lying down position before Clara came into the room with Ryuto.

"Hello." She said, her thick accent distorting the words. She bent down and whispered something in Ryuto's ear. He nodded and whispered back. She stood back up and, with her words seeming forced, said quietly: "You almost killed last night. You have scare us all... very roughly. Don't, please?" Her Japanese was rough and murky, but her message was clear. Ryuto looked like h wanted to cry. He was only five, after all.

Clara cleared her throat and continued. "Your sister is not... here. She's with the other populars." Lui cocked his head in confusion. Ryuto said: "The newer and more popular Vocaloids have gone to a concert. Lily, Bruno, Clara, Tonio, Tianyi, Akiko-chan, and Merli are here right now, along with you and I." Lui nodded. "Would you like to come downstairs and have lunch?" Ryuto said.

Lui nodded. He had thrown up everything he'd eaten for the past week last night, and he was starving. He was a bit nervous, since his organs still hurt, but decided food was a bit more vital than comfort. Slowly he sat stomach ached, but the pain was bearable.

He stood up on his wobbly legs and walked carefully down the hall. When he reached the small living/dining area, he was almost attacked by Tianyi in a huge bear hug. She squealed in happiness, but then her face went serious. Her eyebrows furrowed together and she looked as if she were trying very hard to concentrate on something. She bit her lip. Tears welled up in her eyes. Lui, unable to say anything, stroked her hair gently. She didn't cry long, as if she had fallen apart, and then managed to gather up the little pieces of Tianyi that were lying around before something to awful happened. She took his hand and helped him into the kitchen.

Lily was standing (surprisingly) in front of the stove, boiling eggs. She turned and looked at him, but only for a second, before she turned away. In disgust? In pity? Lui didn't know, but he didn't really care at the moment. Tonio and Akiko-chan rushed in, hugging him each in turn. Tonio ruffled his hair. He knew he would have been purring like a cat, if had a voice.

Merli even fluttered in and sat down on his shoulder. He smiled. He had to say, he felt quite happy. Lily and Clara brought out Egg salad sandwiches. Everyone sat, ate, chatted casually about things like the weather, or sports, or how Tianyi's hair seemed to be getting longer (which she actually quite liked). Everything seemed normal and happy. Nobody talked about what had happened, but they had seemed to make a silent vow to not tell the others about what happened. Which was more than fine with Lui.

Hang on a second. Where was Bruno? He wanted to know. He felt like he should be here. Lui made quick hand gesture to excuse himself, and went to Bruno's room. The door was closed. He knocked, but there was no answer. He pushed the door open. Bruno was there, lying in bed. He came in a tapped him on the shoulder. Bruno was quick to turn around. "Lui?" He said quietly. "Why are you here?" Lui gulped. He grabbed Bruno's palm and began tracing words. _What's wrong? _"What you... did last night was one of the saddest, most terrifying things I've ever seen." Bruno half-whispered. Lui nodded.

Lui sat down next to Bruno. He wanted to say something like: _It's okay, it's all over now, _but he couldn't. Instead, he took Bruno's hand and held it. Bruno looked a little surprised, and Lui was a little surprised at himself. Eventually he felt Bruno's hand squeeze back, and he leaned in for a kiss. And Lui leaned in too, and he knew he was thinking about all things you shouldn't be thinking about when you are about to be kissed, like how his sandwich was still sitting on his plate getting all warm and crusty, or how Merli seemed to disappear from where she had been, or how neither one of them was gay or even remotely bi-curious...

And they kissed. It wasn't anything particularly special, but it was still sweet and comforting. Lui knew he was blushing like crazy, and so was Bruno, and Bruno was to scared to add in any tongue, and the whole was nice but a little awkward. Lui pulled back and grinned. "Thanks" Lui murmured silently. Bruno pulled his hat from his bedside table and placed it on Lui's head. Lui grinned and pulled him up and out of his room.

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D'awwww! Nothing better than cracky yaoi, am I right? There is never enough Lui fanfiction, so I thought I'd contribute. Also, a happy ending! YAY! This is probably the end of this fic...boo :(

R and R. 2 reviews? Am I pushing it?


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